Monday 10 March 2014

Un-Styled Hair: The Ugly Side of Natural Hair





My daughter has wildly curly hair. She is a die-hard curly girl; we co-wash, leave lots of conditioner in her hair, rarely shampoo and never protective style.  I experimented with gel before and maybe we will use it when her hair is longer and thicker but for now, we just use conditioner to set her curls. And I love them. They look super defined and shiny when they dry without interference which worked well for us when she was little but now that she's a very active not-quite-two year old, that is a rare/non-existent occurrence. She's usually rolling around on the bed/sofa/floor/grass/dog bed/car seat straight after I've done her hair so  nowadays, more often than not, her curls are fuzzy and undefined. That's if she lets me do her hair at all. But no matter, I still love them.

The question I get asked most often is 'so what are you going to do with her hair'. I'm like 'Er, it's done'. *awkward silence*. Apparently, just having well cared for hair it's enough. It has to be styled too. 

Blue Ivy
image courtesy of ihatemypublicist.com

This is a problem faced by black women the world over. Beyoncé faces a constant backlash about how Blue Ivy's hair looks and one of my favourite children's hair bloggers wrote a post about women (black ones) coming up to her when her daughters hair was worn open to give her styling tips. As naturals, every now and then an argument flares up on a natural hair forum when someone comments about how so many naturalistas' hairs plook unkempt. I read this to mean, unstyled, even though we all know that that 'unstyled' look has probably been painstakingly nurtured to look that way. Solange does not roll out of bed looking like that. She has a stylist. And a hair stylist. And an assistant. And an entourage. Somebody is doing her hair. She spends a lot of Beyonce's her money and time to get her hair to look like she hardly spends any time or money on it. I'm just saying. 

image courtesy of urbanbushbabes.com

So why does society feel like our hair must be styled to look presentable? Why is wearing our hair out unacceptable? Let's give credit where credit is due; styled hair is beautiful. African hair has a proud history and there are all manner of styles that natural hair can be worn in, from the simplest to the most intricate. But then natural hair is beautiful anyway, so why not wear it out in all it's glory? We have grown up having our hair styled from the very first years of our lives; from tiny little puffs to matutas to cornrows to braids, most of our earliest memories involve having our hair done, and we often fondly joke about the experiences. It is only on rare occasion that you will find children with open hair, usually for special functions. And I totally understand this; particularly for young, active children, protective styling is a no-mess, no-fuss solution for most mothers.  So we are raised with a strong bias towards styled hair, so much so that we are appalled when it isn't. 

We equate free hair with uncared for hair, even though more often than not, hair worn in protective styles is often neglected once the style is in; a sort of out of sight out of mind mentality. Even though it is not uncommon to see very young children with damaged hairlines from having their hairs braided too tight. Even though some people leave braids and weaves tracks in so long that the hair becomes matted and tangled and often goes unwashed or unmoisturised. But no, it's the wild-and-out twist out or unstructured fro that conjures visions of a woman or mother who doesn't care for, know how to care for or can't afford to care for her own or her child's hair.

Natural hair is still a very new concept here and, traditionally, there have only ever been two categories. The wild-haired, free-spirited, artistic type or the cornrowed/braided up school girl type. Nothing in between. But now there is a generation of naturals now who don't conform to either and this is very confusing for the viewing public as they don't know what to make of them. 

*smirk

So I'm going to break it down for you. Yes, my hair is supposed to look like this. Yes it is clean, conditioned and well moisturised. No, I'm not planning to comb it and no, I won't be braiding it any time soon. Same goes for my bub.

So there. 

15 comments:

  1. I am wearing my wig right now, do u know why? Because people won't stop making silly comments. Someone even told me that they won't take a photo of me because my hair is too big!

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    1. What a shame! You should wear your hair out and don't mind the negative comments, You can make everyone happy afterall. And lots of naturals (me included) would kill for big hair :)

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    2. CAN'T make everyone happy. lol.

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  2. Finally. Someone who tells it like it is.

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  3. I live in Kansas which is pretty white. All I get are compliments on my hair. Most of my friends like it best when I am sans braids. I can only imagine what kind of comments I would get back home. I will never forget the confused/disapproving? Look on my Kenyan friends face when we she sawme after we had not seen each other for a while " what are you doing with your hair? Are you keeping it like that?" :-D

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    1. Lol. I get asked all the time if i'm growing dreads, which confuses me then confuses them when i say no. Things are changing but sloooowly.

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  4. That was rude implying Solange uses Bey's money. That was unnecessary. Lost interest in the post after that strikethrough. Black women are judged enough.

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    1. I have five sisters. At some point in my life someone has paid for someone's hair, lunch, fuel, rent, whatever. It's what siblings do so i'm pretty sure at some point in her life Bey has paid for Solange and maybe vice versa. It's not judgmental, just life. Sorry you didn't like my joke but I stand by what I wrote. Incidentally, I love Solange, i think she's the stylish sister, irrespective of who pays for her stuff.

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    2. You are offended by the implication??.....I figure that your use of the diminutive form for Beyonce name has given you the illusion that you need to protect her and her sister. It was a joke, so instead of judging another black woman, you should have read the article and given some valuable feedback.....Good Grief.

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    3. Well, thanks Nina for clearing that up. I wasn't protecting anyone. Mumbe didn't have to be rude in her response. I was just airing my thoughts. Last I checked, it's called feedback and it won't always be what you want to hear. I'm a natural hair vlogger, Facebook page with 40,000 fans. I get recommendations from them and check out blogs anonymously then review them, send them links and all. My feedback may not have been welcome but it is, what it is. I still read other posts.

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    4. I am so sorry that you thought that *I* was being rude.... You dismissed an entire article based on your feeling about a single strikethrough in an article, and if you have read the other articles you would have noted that this was tongue in cheek but you felt the need to point this out as rudeness on the part of author and now it has become feedback. I get very tired by the over policing that people do on the internet, there is no such thing as a joke and any minuscule 'mis-step' is pointed out and the gist of the article is lost and any value for the author and the reader is lost.

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  5. Is there such a thing as unkempt natural hair? When someone is wearing a weave or protective style that has seen better days we call that unkempt hair, if you have a relaxer and you don't comb your hair or refresh your curls, that's unkempt hair? What do we call dry, un-moisturized hair, ashy, free flowing or styled natural hair?

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  6. I'd love to go natural but I don't know where to start. I also have scalp psoriasis so it makes it difficult for me to keep any styles in.

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  7. Love this! I get that question about my daughter all the time too...

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