Saturday, 25 April 2015

How To Plan Your Wash Day If You Live In Africa*

*Yes, yes, I know Africa is not a country but damned if many of us don't recognise at least one of these problems. Plus, I'm a blogger, it's my right to base my writing on personal opinion, gross generalisations, poor research and plagiarism. #factsbedamned


Wash day is a big day for naturals anywhere in the world. But it's an even bigger deal if you live in a developing country where every day is an adventure.

1. First, check the newspaper to see if there is any power electricity or water rationing planned outages in your area. These are usually meant to last from 9am - 5pm but African Time means this is simply a rough guideline and should by no means be used to plan your day around.

2. Second, check if there are any maintenance works in your area. Even if it's just one random guy drilling something in the road, make a mental note because that bugger will can hit a water pipe and Boom! An unplanned, ungazetted shortage and there goes your wash day. 

3. If you are living the high life and have a generator or inverter, ensure there is enough fuel and/or your batteries are fully charged. This will not help you with your water heater situation but it will help if you need to use any appliances. For the rest of us plebs who don't have one, isoraight.

4. Make sure your water tanks are full and functioning. If you have a borehole, check the pump is working. Airlocks are your enemy. Have a fundi (handyman skilled professional) on call and waiting. Don't let him give you any of that 'I'm just round the corner, I'll be there in 10 minutes' business. We all speak fundi buddy, you're not fooling anyone. Keep him in your line of sight at all times.

5. Despite all your planning, should there be an unexpected power outage, have enough gas in your cooker to boil a few pots of water. There are gas delivery companies but they might be mteja/the boda boda guy may be away/they will not understand directions to your house, despite having delivered to you 4 times already in the past. If you have an electric-only cooker...WTF are you thinking?! Sell that ish and buy something with at least one gas hob. At minimum.

6. Think on your feet. If something happens to interrupt your wash day, have to hand a list of places where your can go to finish your wash day. This includes, but is not limited to:

  • friends houses - make small talk, bring gifts, don't hit the same house twice in a row, pick someone who is not on the same electricity/water line as you
  • local gyms - check they have a generator
  • local salons - check they have a generator or, at least, this situation...

If you don't know what this've lived a charmed life.
Trying to figure out how to balance it without melting the bucket is an art in itself.
(why that water so dirty though?!)

7. Check the weather forecast. And by weather forecast I mean peer anxiously into the sky. Because we all know weather apps are notoriously inaccurate in this part of the world. To be doubly sure, ask someone who seems knowledgeable. Just pick anyone who looks local and works outdoors and is wearing an overall. They usually will not know but they will still answer you definitively. You may even get a time when rain is expected to start. Why? Because rain usually equals a blackout, brownout or fluctuations. Wash your hair during a rain storm at your own peril.

8. Now that you have covered all your bases, proceed to wash your hair but avoid using metal implements; the electric shocks from your insta-shower are a bitch.

Comment below which country you live in and if any of this applies in your country.

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